Life Got More Complicated

I slept in this morning, read the paper over breakfast, and then cleaned the bathroom before I showered. While I was doing that, my phone rang. It was my cousin calling to tell me that my aunt had died. She was my dad’s last remaining sibling and we hadn’t seen her in about 6 years. She had Alzheimer’s and was in bad shape then. Dad kept wanting to go visit her, but my cousin kept telling him that she would not know him. I was torn between taking him to see her and having to comfort him as he broke down then or dealing with his grief when she passed away. I took the easy way out, but now feel guilty for not going to see her.

Besides the obvious complication of dealing with a death in the family, I will also have to deal with preparing for house guests and practicing for an additional church service. My sister and brother-in-law are coming up for the funeral. My cousin asked me to play for the funeral, which will be difficult because I’ll be crying. Hard to read music when there are tears in your eyes. The preparation for my house guests means cleaning that I hadn’t intended to do just yet. I was going to tackle the major cleaning this week, but have to do it NOW.

The hardest part, of course, was talking to dad about Aunt Ann. He broke down and eventually left the room and took to bed. He is sick (on antibiotics for a chest thing) so that isn’t too unexpected that he’d want to go to bed. But, he was definitely crying when I left. The best thing about my sister coming up, other than seeing her, is that she will be able to sit with dad and mom at the funeral while I’m at the organ.

I realize this post is scattered, but that’s how my mind is right now. Time to sign off and figure out something with the music. Or maybe do the dishes or vacuum or something.

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Published in: on November 20, 2010 at 7:23 PM  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. So sorry that you are having to deal with all of this at once. Life certainly can hand us a ton.
    You and your family are in my prayers. Sending you healing energy.

    Linda

    • Thanks, Linda.

  2. Barb,

    Sorry to hear about your loss. I know you feel guilty, but there is only so much that you can do, and you are doing a lot!!!!! I am sure you will find the strength to play magnificently—my friend was able to play at her husband’s funeral. Just do the best you can in all respects.

    • Thanks, Zulema. I find it amazing that your friend played for her husband’s funeral. I can’t imagine that. With support like this, I’ll get through.


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